The 7 Words That Stop You Being A Happy Bunny
Words are important.
They are how we communicate and express ourselves.
They shape up our emotions and feelings.
Some inspire and uplift us but there are other ones that deflate and upset us. Put us down and make us give up. Put away our hopes and wishes and settle for less. Far, far less.
And not just fancy words. Or hurtful nicknames. Or even swear words and offensive phrases.
There are everyday words that every single human say constantly that are confidence killers. Simple, basic words that are part of your daily vocabulary and thoughts. Small, short ones. That you barely know you are uttering or thinking.
But you say all the same.
Seemingly harmless words that are actually harmful
There are seven of them. Nasty little critters that drag your dreams down. Stop your from starting. Guilt trip you all over the place. Pay homage to other people’s happiness. Listen to scared and ambitionless opinion. And keep you holed up right where you are. They are like daily mantra’s that are harming you.
Time to name and shame them. Here’s the bad word bulletin:
Must – as in, “I must take care of x or y before I can even begin to think about starting my business/have time for me”.
Musn’t – as in, “You musn’t take risks/do something silly/forget to pay the bills/quit your job”.
Should – as in, “You should think about the effect on others instead of yourself” (particularly offensive one this).
Have – as in, “You have to be there”, or “You have to help”, or “I have to do the washing first” (rather than meet a friend/buy tickets to an event you’d love to attend/go for a summer walk).
Don’t - as in, “You don’t want to miss this party night?”, or “Don’t you think you are being selfish?”
Can’t – as in, “I can’t do that” (followed by any excuse you can think of), or “I can’t let them down” (so I’ll forget what I want for once), or “I can’t see how it will work, so there’s no point”.
Need – as in, “I’d love to read more self-help books/play tennis/attend an evening class but I need to do the shopping/wash my hair/make sure my son has done his homework etc etc”.
Let’s face it – these words make excuses out of your reasons and dust out of your dreams.
DO NOT USE THEM WHERE POSSIBLE!!!
If you want to be a happy bunny then instead of rabbiting these 7 words try using them in a more limited fashion. Use other words. Re-frame how you use these. Ask people you trust to remind you if you lapse back into saying them all the time or in ways that diminsh your potential keeping you stuck where you are.
As time goes by these tiny words become ensconsed in your pysche and your emotions. They act as blocks to progress. Obstacles to moving towards better times. Ensure dreams never happen. A life you longed for move out of your grasp.
The average human has some 50,000 thoughts per day usually made up of a range of frequently used words. Imagine the effect if most of those were clearly negative like, “I am useless”, or “You are fat and ugly”, or “Nobody loves you or ever will”?
These hurt quickly and painfully. Like an arrow through the heart. The 7 listed above are like a gradual poison but have the same effect. Slowly and surely they create a negative force that drowns your spirit, eats away at your self-belief and maims your hopes before they’ve got off the ground.
DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN!
Before you have a good word for someone, have a good word for yourself from now on. Drip drip a positive philosophy. Use newer, more encouraging words. Replace old ones with fresher choices. Drop the dross.
Must becomes Might
Musn’t becomes Will
Should becomes Could
Have becomes Choose
Don’t becomes Do
Can’t becomes Can
Need becomes Want
Changing the word often changes the meaning behind it. Bringing truth to bear. Be prepared for that too as you may bang into your own resistance or fear. Discovering what’s really going on and not being said or heard.
Words are enormous even if they are tiny. Huge effects from a few letters. Like ‘love’, ‘joy’ and ‘I do’. Because words are expression, so what you express has to be expressed within you too!
So if you want to pull a rabbit out of the hat of your life and be bucking and kicking with vitality, then make these 7 lucky by cutting them down, not using them at all or listening to those who expect that you do.
Leap into new language and be a happy bunny.
26 Responses to “The 7 Words That Stop You Being A Happy Bunny”
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Hi John
Interesting, sometimes we use these words without even realising it in every day conversations also not realising the effects it can have on who you are talking with and your thoughts. Todays challenge to communicate without using the little critters.
Have fun,
Marion
Marion, you are quite right that these words just come out of our mouths so used are we to speaking them. Once you know them though the challenge is to try and avoid them. That’s the tougher part but the freeing one too!
Hi John,
Enjoyed this post – good reminder that what we tell ourselves matters – a lot!
Eileen, you are very, very welcome. It’s nice to see your bright, smiley face too! What we tell ourselves, we believe if we say it enough….so stop saying it!
So profound and true. I have people who say awful things about me, but I will not let them alter my work or writing. Thanks for a great post.
Purple B, real gald to have you along to my blog. Hope you are having a purple patch today. If not, ignore those voices and words (including any of your own) and go with positive phrases and soon you’ll be a winner. Whay you know you know, what you say others go along with….eventually!
“should” is a big no-no for me. I can’t stand it. It’s a shaming word. It means the person delivering it thinks they know better and if you knew better you’d have done it already. Could is empowering and should is deflating. Great post and great reminders for us all, John. You should keep writing posts just like this. Just kidding.
Katie calling ‘should’ a “shaming word” is first class. Contact the English langauage experts and see if it can be included the same as a ‘doing word’ or ‘naming verb’.
I could keep writing posts like this and must try to but I need to make a living and can’t do so right now so…..ah, to hell with it, of course I will, I love it!! Cheers!
Thanks for another great post, I like coming back to read your blog and your twitter updates.I am hoping to start a new blog soon and I am always on the look for inspiration – thanks
Hi Stuart, it’s my pleasure and I appreciate your honest feedback. Good luck on the blogging and finding your own voice and hope you’ve found inspiration here to make that leap. If not yet, keep coming back as there’s more to come on these pages.
What a dirty talker you are, John
I dislike all of those words. My favorite word to use in life is “choose.” It’s helped me see how much power I truly have.
Naughty but nice don’t you mean Jean?? I dislike them too hence I try to stop myself using them unless really appropriate. It’s amazing what a change it brings in my mood. What are your dirty words?
I really enjoyed this post. I was drawn in by the happy bunny title as it is favorite expression of mine. It is totally amazing when you start to cut these words out of your vocabulary along with the other baddies – disaster and nightmare – often used to describe some of life’s small glitches.
Bless you and welcome Marion to my simple blog. I used a happy bunny because it’s as popular as the 7 words (sadly) that take away confidence. I like that you call them “baddies” so what better than to first speak, then secondly enjoy, the “goodies” instead? Simple comments but so very true they are, thank you.
I love the alternative words you give us:
Must becomes Might
Musn’t becomes Will
Should becomes Could
Have becomes Choose
Don’t becomes Do
Can’t becomes Can
Need becomes Want
That is powerful indeed. “should” and “can’t” tend to be my biggest challenges. I really, really like the new version of the old words (the alternative words)
Aileen, I think it was worthwhile to offer up some options rather than just flagging up the bad ones and leaving it at that. It shows that it needn’t be too difficult to develop a better self language. Hope those new words (and some of your own) will come in handy. I have a feeling they will!
This couldn’t be more true, John. I know: I learned the hard way. My life used to be full of every single one of these words, and I used them often. As a result, I was a depressed, grouchy, guilty, put-upon person on a regular basis. Geez! Fortunately, somewhere along the way, nasty circumstances brought me face-to-face with this aspect of myself and I was able to begin changing. If at all possible, I avoid these words at all costs … unless I’m talking to my students about work they MUST submit.
An honest precis of the need for good langauge Carla. You did what I have and plenty still do with self-attack and self-criticism. In time that damages and hurts like a poison inside. DON’T DO IT. IT’S NEVER WORTH IT! I’m so glad you have found the new, wonderful you with words to match. As for what you say to your students…….if you MUST.
Hi John,
How are you? In my opinion, words are much more powerful in how they affect us personally, than how we use to communicate towards others.
So you are preaching the the choir my friend-!
Cheers,
–Parker
Howdy Parker. Reverend Sherry blesses you and now we are all going to sing happiness hymn No. 101 ‘Smile all the While’. Let it rip brothers and sisters!
Hi John,
I really like your alternatives, it is valuable to find these with many words. I used to have a problem with the word “should” too. It all depends on what frame of mind we are in, when we are using some words. I maintain that the word “shouldn’t”, causes us, by and large, more problems than the word “should”. Thank you for an excellent reminder of how words can affect us.
Regards,
Sandra
Sandra, I quite like being an alternative. I thought I was normal.
You see you are already seeing words that don’t fit and adding to the list. Good on ‘yer. Now don’t let them creep back into your vocabularly.
John: Great post and great point. The words we use really matter and the thoughts we have can impact everything we do. I agree we have to be careful with what we allow to run through our mind and the way we perceive situations. I know I am interested in being a happy bunny
Sibyl, some of these words don’t run through our mind they veritably sprint! Well we are a human race eh?
To be a happy bunny we need to take the hare approach and slow down and spot what’s going on. Hear those words that harm and stop that rot. Then you’ll be bouncing all over the place.
good post John!
So true and such power in our words and our intentions… I find that if I am being intentional I can catch myself with my words and create a positive expression and thought rather then the negative connotation.
Thank you for your words
Hi Angela, real good to see you at my simple blog. You have focused on your intention first which protects your word usage. A more advanced technique but powerful all the same. Do you teach this? You should as it would make a world of difference. My intention is to simply inspire but I love your approach very much too.