Do You Have A Big But?
You can try and hide it you know.
Pretend it isn’t there. Hope no-one spots it.
Cover it up and keep it secret due to the embarrassment as it follows you everywhere and always comes up and out in conversation.
The size of your but!
No, not that one. The ‘but’ you use to give yourself permission to never try, start, move on or complete a project or goal.
A bit like this……
I really hate working here and the pay is awful BUT it’s nearby to where I live.
or
I have always wanted to learn Spanish BUT I’m quite busy in the evenings and won’t have time to practice.
or
Giving up smoking is my goal, I definitely want to do it, BUT I need the odd one now and again when I’ve had a stressful day.
When you say ‘but’.
TV show host and psychiatrist, Dr Phil McGraw, says that when ”but’ is used in a sentence, ignore anything said before it as the real reason comes in the words that follow. Or the excuse. The ’why’ a person is failing or not attempting to do something. Their true feelings. Have a look at the examples above again. Sound different don’t they now. Good old Dr Phil.
How big is your but?
Time to be honest folks!
How often do you put your ‘but’ into your speech? How many times do you rely on it to get out of something? What excuses are you making by using it?
The but stops here!
Over using ‘but’ is buttering up your life. Being nice and all that, except that it’s holding you back or keeping you where you are. It is allowing you to be lesser than you are. A shrinking violet. A has-been that never was. A dreamer who didn’t ever make a dream come true. A person who will never become who they are meant to. A lost cause. A giver upper. A plain nobody.
Is that what you want?????
From now on commit to wiping your but.
Wipe out saying ‘but’ as often as you can. Practice saying sentences without it especially times when you know you tend to slip it in to conversations. When you feel something is coming out of your but, ‘Stop it!’, as the embarrassment isn’t worth it. Hold it back and do it in private if you really must. It’s a disgusting habit.
Confide in a good friend or two and confess that you have being having problems with your ‘but’. Ask them for help. After all they’ve seen and heard it all before. Get them to keep an eye on it. Prevent it from slipping out in public. Remind you when they’ve got wind of it. Let you know if it’s becoming obvious. And help you bring back an altogether more polite you. A well spoken you. Who always has a good word to say……for yourself and about yourself!
The but of jokes.
No-one wants to be the butt of jokes but using ‘but’ can be a joke. Taking and making nothing serious. Treading water. With excuse after excuse time and time again. Life is no joke so don’t treat it that way.
The trick is to limit that ‘b’ word and use others instead. As you do you begin to realise where you have held yourself back. Where you need to take stock and fix things. What comfort zones are in the way. The next steps to take. The habits to break. The little fears. The ways forwards. Without uncertainty. Without doubt. With no ifs or buts!
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HAHA. Very clever. I was laughing throughout.
But the message is important. Over the past few years I have worked hard to remove this word from my vocabulary. It is not gone completely BUT I am getting pretty close.
I work with a lot of brand new business owners and this is a huge topic for them. It seems like they already have a number of pre-made excuses that stop them from taking action. I think it comes down the the comfort zone you talked about.
Removing “but” altogether and focusing on “what” (as in what am I going to do about it) is the best way to get into action and make things happen.
Hi Justin welcome to a simple laugh
People are too caught up with the problem and then search with that in mind. Best flip it and approach it from a whole new position. Just like the story of the fakir who gave 3 blindfolded men in a dispute a part of an elephant each; trunk, legs and tail. Each thought they had the truth about the size and shape of the animal from their perspective until the blindfolds came off. To be less blind ourselves, we need to take another view.
Justin and john,
You’ve helped me realize what a powerful word ‘but’ can be. Justin, to heighten the awareness of business owners is very empowering! They’re often up against difficult decisions, and certainly do need to think things through from many perspectives. Very good if you’re able to get them past the ‘buts’. Maybe ‘but’ is another word for ‘I fear’…
On another note, we can also pick up others’ buts…anticipating their issues before they’re even spoken. There are sometimes things we don’t attempt, even when we really want to, because we know our parent, spouse, friend, etc will get a really big but about it…so we don’t even go there. Heightened awareness….Thanks for sharing!
One small but overused word that we could do without. Take those 3 letters out of your life more and you will re-write your whole vocabularly for the better. Simples!
Hi John,
oh I hate it when I hear that word…but. Unless I use in a sentence to make a point
this post cracks me up… I love all the double meanings
Cheers!
But of course I see what you’re saying. I like a bit of a laugh now and again but don’t count on it in every post!
Cheers for dropping by Parker.
John: You totally got my attention with this title … When I was reading the introduction, I was thinking to myself, where is he going with this one?
What a great message. It really is all about chipping away at those limiting beliefs and things that are holding us back. I think “but” is by all means one of those things. Thanks for the pointer and the insights. Great post.
Howdy Sibyl, bet your but is smaller now! I think we all need our buts kicked and then we can kick the habit for good.
I really want to get up and go to work, BUT I’m enjoying this awesome post too much to get up! (Oh that’s right, you can just ignore the first half of THAT sentence)
My wishcast yesterday was to focus on identifying and moving forth with changes that will give me personal peace and sustainability. When my but gets in the way, I’ll surely think of this post and be ever more determined to keep trudging the road to happy destiny!
I’m so happy Jane that your but is still in bed contemplating life and I WILL ignore the first part of your sentence because I love the second part. You can butter me up anytime!!
Being a big proponent of the power of language, you know I love this post John. Didn’t know you were so funny though! “The but stops here.” “wiping your but.” Hahaha
Power Woman Linda, I like that. I personally like to kick the but of positivity and have a chortle on the way. It makes life smiles better
No ifs, ands or buts, I’ve been using my big BUT as an excuse not to move forward with an online venture I’ve been tap-dancing around. I fear my but is financially tied to my fear…. BUT there’s only one way to stop this vicious cycle… I’ve got to get up and shake my but! Thanks for the smack (on the but) and the laugh!
Right, get off you but Maggie and get out there and make that venture happen. I want to kick your but and say ‘go be a complete success’. The but stops here and the good stuff starts. OK?