What To Do If You’re Having A Bad Day
Are you having one of those days?
When nothing is going right?
Other people are being awkward, difficult and unhelpful?
Nothing works or does what it’s supposed to?
You are frustrated, annoyed and just about had enough?
Don’t worry, you’re not alone. It’s a growing everyday occurence in this fast paced, full on, 21st century society. It comes with life.
Sadly, we all have a bad day.
But, before you start tearing your hair out, kicking the cat out (especially if you don’t have one) or crying your heart out, there are a few tactics I’m going to show you to keep up your sleeve (with your hankies) to start feeling happier again.
So, take a few deep breaths, count to ten and begin slowing down that heart rate. You are not going to ‘fight or flight’, you’re going to ‘laugh and lounge’.
It’s time to take it easy.
Listed below are 5 tips for unwinding from that wound up feel. For letting it all go not getting all het up. Not blowing your top but finally getting back on top of things. Would you like that? Then read on…
It’s not personal
You are in a rush, a bit behind schedule, and you hit your third red traffic light in a row. Now you turn on yourself saying, “This always happens to me when I’m late. Every single time”. And the rage grows and the hassle of the day ahead is set and probably won’t go away until you get home that night.
But it’s not personal. Traffic lights turn red for everyone. Millions are stuck in traffic meaning they are running late for this or that. Everyone gets delayed or misses a bus or hits queue after queue. All thinking the same thought. It’s only me this happens too. First port of call is to accept that the world isn’t picking on you. Have faith God hasn’t singled you out. Luck not deserted you. On a planet of 6 billion people plenty have the same experience. Some days are like that.
Don’t bring it with you
Research has shown that stress often isn’t a build up in tensions and pressures in a particular situation, but actually a harrassed frame of mind brought into the room in the first place. Frustrations and squabbles elsewhere taken on into the next place.
How many times has a colleague been tetchy or snappy because they had an arguement that morning with their partner?
How often has your boss been off with you due to the board dumping on him?
What about family tensions beyond your relationship sparking petty arguements?
A bad day often starts with a bad mood. Those traffic lights. Your dog chewing up your cushions for the tenth time. The phone company getting your bill wrong again. Your brother and sister not speaking and you’ve got drawn into the drama? Your bad mood finds other people’s bad moods which becomes a recipe for fall out. Little problems like the printer playing up when you have an important report to run today is a major irritation when normally it’s just one of those things. Some days start before you get there.
Take a break
When annoyance strikes and bad becomes worse, typically we add fuel to the fire. Shout, bang things, bark at others, seethe underneath, boil over with angry thoughts and stomp all over the place. What was a bother gets promoted to a major incident. One troublesome event upgraded to your whole job or life being in a mess. You burst saying and doing things you may later regret. Burning bridges as you go.
When it all begins to get too much..walk away. Take a break from it for 5 mins. Put it to one side for a moment. Distract your thoughts by doing something else. Boil a kettle. Read a page of a book or that e-mail you got last week saying thanks for the great job you did. Ring your mum. Or your lover. Find something that makes you laugh or happy like a picture of your daughter (always keep such a picture on you permanently). Divert the antagonism. Lessen the mental load. Find some haven. Giving it five and then coming back to it often works. Some days are saved in 5 minutes.
Laugh it off
Ask yourself this, ‘“Will this matter in a few days time?”, or “Is this life threatening?”. Chances are the sources of our anger simply disappears as soon as they arrive. Even family spats don’t flare up everyday or get forgotten. Take the long view. On a scale of a lifetime why is this short time worth bothering about? Why should one day spoil all the others that lie ahead?
Laugh this silly, crazy time off. It’s dumb. A doolally day. Barmy times. Worth forgetting. So mad that it’s like a comedy show. Like a script for a film. With you the lead character. Living those berserk and bizarre moments. It’s funny. Surreal. Stupid. Slapstick. Laugh it off because tomorrow it won’t matter never mind next week or next year. Some days are wonderfully weird.
Develop a siesta attitude
The Spanish have a daily mid-afternoon siesta. A chill out phase of the day. To prevent pressure build up and welcome slow down instead. Letting life in not issues out. Prevention rather than cure. Take a leaf out of that.
Before any stresses can strike change your approach to life. Let more go. Care less. Relax often. Stop being on the go so much. Extend your life by extending your appreciation of it. Notice subtle things like sunsets and birds singing not traffic jams and the size of your ‘in’ tray. You are stress – recognise that. Your lifetsyle. Your choices. Your reactions to everything. Your self pressurising, expectations, criticism, and seeking. Less self more siesta.
And that includes when you are in the midst of a maelstrom. A day to forget with problems whizzing all around. Shut up your shop siesta style. Put the ‘Closed’ sign on your mind. Go 360 and lounge. Do the opposite of trying more…..don’t try at all. Where possible let the whole kit and caboodle go. Have a holiday spirit or live simple for a few hours. For once….do nothing. Soon it will be tomorrow and it will be a whole new day. Some days can be forgotten.
Some days are bad days because of our bad ways. Bad attitudes and habits, reactions and responses that mushroom. Bad days are good clues to better living. Flip sides to what’s really going on as everything goes off. That we create or don’t help ourselves with. If you want bad days to go away have a go at these 5 good tips and see how easily bad can become brilliant!
Tell me what you think. What’s your techniques when you have a bad day? How do you cope? I’d love to hear from you.
Image courtesy of TOONMAN_blchin
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John, you have described my life here…up until about two years ago. I had to walk away from the chaos and re-program my existence.
One of the first things I learned was “don’t sweat the small stuff, ‘coz it’s all small stuff”! You asked “On a scale of a lifetime why is this short time worth bothering about?”…oh so true, however it really does help to take time out, clear the mind, realise where you have been going wrong and learn from your previous mistakes.
I think this post should help a lot of people.
Hi Joanne, welcome to my blog, real good to have your drop by. You did a wise but hard thing to walk away from tough stuff but I’m sure you now experience a whole new way of life. Bad days have a habit of spreading into bad weeks and finally bad years if we’re not careful so well done for your inner and outer work to get your life back.
Hi John, for me, I try to shift my day so that it moves towards a day where I am grateful. I try not to let a bad start define the entire day. It doesn’t have to. I keep thinking of all that I have and am fortunate to be a part of and then the day changes.
Howdy Katie, and very well done for being a human shape shifter! Bad times don’t define anything unless we give it that definition, so you are certainly good at having good times by redefining what comes your way. Bye bye bad, hello happy.
Wow amazing photo – it just grabs you John.
I rely a great deal on my sense of humor when things get a bit tense. Laughter is the best remedy I know of to bring life back into perspective.
Also I like to close a day on a happy note and resolve things before I go to bed. This reduces the chance of wakening up with a ready made annoyance before the day has even started.
A very wise move Marion to close the day on a positive note. They say don’t go to bed on an arguement and that includes with yourself and the day. Laugh it off, it’s done and gone. Otherwise, in time, you’ll end up looking like the picture! Which you certainly won’t by the sound of it.
Hey John
What an amazing photo I would love to know where there person comes from?
I am sure most people would be able to relate to your great post.
You give very good advice and I myself quite often get bogged down on the little things in life instead of concentrating on the big issues. This whole subject ties into getting what we focus on,if we focus on negative stuff then more than likely thats what tends to happen in our lives. I love the idea of developing a Siesta attitude I have been to spain and experienced this so it creates a beautiful picture. I look forward to using some of these ideas in my life. Thank you.
Hi Stan, welcome to my blog. Do you like the self pic? I took it on a bad day! Actually if you follow the link at the bottom of the post to the photographer there may be details on the person, tribe etc. I like the siesta spirit as it is a natural turn off point in the day even if you don’t live in a sunny climate. The attitude is what works. You are right when you say we focus on negative stuff (that we repeat over and over again in our minds). We have the power to re-shift ourself to a better state and it’s bad days that offer a time to start that ball rolling. Wishing you well Stan.
hello john,
how are you?
thanks for sharing this.
if i may add please: try as much as possible to have a bit of self control in order manage flaring tempers.
avoid talking too much because you may end up regretting a few statements.
avoid zoning completely into the blaming mode i.e. neglecting responsiblities and looking for who to trade blames with.
finally, dont be too hard on yourself
take care and enjoy the rest of the day.
p.s. please look out for my email
Hi Ayo, some comprehensive tips there to add to my list. I like “avoid zoning completely into the blaming mode” as it’s so easy to get stuck in such a rut of thought. And I applaud what you say that we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves. That’s bad in itself and never helps. Have fun, see you soon.
“Some days are saved in 5 minutes.” You are so right
Things like laughing it off, taking a break or walk help. I’ve been successful with having bad moments not turn into bad days. But every once in a while when nothings is working out and I just let it be what it is and allow myself to indulge in some chocolate and wine.
Seriously fantastic picture you choose for this post!!!!
You got the answer to a bad day for sure Aileen. In fact forget anything I say just have chocolate and wine! Yep, works for me. Glad you like my pic taken on a normal Monday morning when I get up.
Hi John!
What a great post! My favorite phrase is “less self, more siesta.” You are so right when you point out that a lot of stress is caused more by our reaction than by the actual event, because we tend to take things personally that really aren’t. And even if they are meant personally, it is still our choice how to react to things. If we are so caught up in our ego, our pride, or other things that can be ‘hurt,’ we have the wrong priorities. I have tried to stop sweating the small stuff and am very good at ignoring irritations such as long lines, bad drivers, and the like. Unfortunately I still have some work to do at being more patient with people who are close to me. I will certainly put your advice to work. Thank you!
Hey Maggie, really super to see you. Have a siesta fiesta, go on…treat yourself. You are also quite right that it’s our reaction and not the event that makes bad appear. It’s down to us and up to us at the same time. We are all powerful. So choose good and make good happen. Look for good and good will appear. Think good and good will fill your mind. It’s all good.
It appears we Americans are far too goal oriented to accept the siesta as a way of life. What are we thinking? Naps increase alertness and creativity, and reduce stress. We are not a culture to put up with naps. The Protestant Ethic at work, I think!
Not just USA Laurel, most of the modern Western world is so work driven it can’t take a break. The chill zone needs to be as important as the work zone. Ole siesta!